我们，都不成熟

我们，都不成熟。
当话还没说完时，
当声量被提高时，
当我们都冷战时，
我们都会说着话，
说着伤害彼此的话。

我们，都不成熟
当别人做错事时，
当过失一再被重复时，
当过失不被原谅时，
我们都懒得和彼此说话，
因此，
在不自觉中，
我们都变懒了。

我们，都不成熟。
因为，
我们都喜欢吵着彼此，
闹着要吃冰其零，
闹着要看电影，
闹着要吃爆米花，
闹着肚子饿，
闹着要喝冰冰水，
闹着和闹着，
我们都好像回到了小时候，
享受着被宠的滋味，
顿时的我们，
被幸福满满的包围着。

我们，都不成熟。
在寒冷的天气下，
骑着车车，
一起大声地唱着，
一首首儿歌，
一首首不完整的儿歌，
一起哼着已忘记歌词的儿歌，
在一起想着，
儿歌，还有那几首？
当我们同在一起，
还是，
这是我的家 ?
要不然就是-六只可爱的小黄鸭！
我们大大声的唱着，
仿佛世界只剩我们，
不去理会他人的眼光，
我们开心就好！
所以，
即使天气冷冷的，
但，
我的心暖暖的，
那，你的呢？

当有那么一天，
我们都成熟了，
那，
那些开心和不开心的事，
还会发生吗？
你，
希望我们都变成熟吗？
我，
还是喜欢着冰其零，
还是喜欢着儿歌，
还是喜欢着你。

这样好吗？

高跟鞋，病了。

谢谢你，
让我得到了一个病人该有的待遇。
我答应自己，
不会再生病了，
因为不止是生理上的痛，
我的心，
也被弄痛了。
谁说生病会得到比较好的待遇？
开玩笑！

生病了，
高跟鞋，
穿在不适当的时候，
更加是一种负担。
一个字，痛。

穿了二十年的平底鞋，
突然间换去穿高跟鞋是为了什么？
为了折磨自己吗？
为了好看吗？
为了什么！！？

为了， 为了。。
算了吧，
算我笨吧，
谁得空理你啊？
你穿什么管我屁事？
穿了是以为你会高兴，
因为你喜欢这种女的，
我穿的，
都太小孩子了。
但是，
穿了过后，
得都的是，
“自食其果”。

穿高根鞋，
会对生体不好，
这我知到啊。
我脱了它后，
走在平地上，
脚还是会很痛很痛。

男子觉得好看，
女子需要付出多少的代价啊。

你刚才说的话，
太难听了，
难听到我不能假装我听不到，
我不能假装你没说过。

没有人会这样对我说话，
光荣吧？
对啊，
你觉得就好。

当我死了就算了，
你不需要被我气死，
如果我死，
我会在死之前，
为自己准备好一切，
不会麻烦到任何人，
放心吧。

今天应该是一个很美好的一天，
应该是的。

娴‘s 脚，
对不起让你痛了，
痛得那么没有价值，
我不会再让你受罪了。

我？ 是的。

又是我吗？
对啊，
又是我..

你出去了，
没带电话，
我又可以说些什么呢..

等你回来，
我没有吗？
虽然我说我不等了，
最后我还不是等你了吗？
我还不是回你了吗？

等你的时候，
你知道我都在干什么吗？

我什么都没心情做，
写写下字，
又把书给盖起来

上网，
一直停留在同一页，
Refresh 了又 refresh，
但是心还是不在哪里.

这些一分钟如一天的日子，
我不知如何过，
谁可以教教我？

听音乐，
是我唯一能做的事情。
听着音乐，
才知道原来我的心还会痛.

我知道你都有等我回来，
但是，
在我外头时，
我都有在和你传简讯吧
可能你觉得不需要，
但是，
我需要.

如果我没带电话出去，
会是怎样的呢？

生气？ 担心？不管？
还是没什么..?

伤害了你，
抱歉，
没下次了，
这是我说的。

The.Unnoticeable.Fear.That.Rise.Suddenly.From.No.Where.

There were so many arguments lately.
With reason, without reasons, Knowing the reasons and Without knowing the reason.

Why..? Whyy is it happening?
Is it something essential for a relationship?
If yes, and do it have to happen so frequently?
If no, then why there are so many arguments lately?

Misunderstanding? Saying something wrongly? Sensitive? Something changing?

I don't like this.
Serious, i hate this.
This feeling is suck.
It makes me feel like something is so wrong,
yet I couldn't fix it
because I don't really know what is wrong.
Isn't it funny?

You always say you don't want an argument,
That's why you said it's your fault,
and there's the end of the story,
and then we will back to like nothing ever happens.

It sounds like something good right?
Because,
In this case, we can avoid argument.!
We can act like nothing happens,
We are still so "we".

But think back,
Is it really that good?
Everything is keep inside your heart,
Accumulating.

Arguments,
Indicate that, there's a problem arise.
Problem is meant to be solve,
Not meant to be avoid or ignore..!

Let's talk about today!
Should be a great day i suppose.
Go out shopping after Spanish lesson,
Buy stuffs,
Tell him about what my course-mate told me just now :
That there are a dinner night that is opened for everyone,
He asked us to go and learn the ball room dance,
Because he need some pairs of people to take part for the dance.

Isn't it sounds lovely? Dancing, Ballroom..?
Oh ya,
He said it going to held at Shangri-La Hotel,
WoW..! Is it awesome..?
And there going to be a family day for our course,
But the venue is not set.
So overall,
the ballroom thingy cost Rm65 and the Family Day is Rm20..!
All together is Rm85.
Is it a bit too expensive,
And i don't think both of us are interested.

So much things to share with him yet i have to just shut up and swallow it an the moment.
Nomore from me.
( Bad Day for Me. ) whole thing divide by half, or many more. Hahaha Nonsense.

Only.If.You.Care.

Wake up around 11am plus,
Go out for lunch.
Sometimes will have a walk with friends after lunch,
Most of the time will call me after you are home.

When you are home,
You will play game with him.
Slight Sms with me,
Around 4pm,
You will have your nap.

Wake up again around 5pm,
Sms me after you wake up,
I know its time for you to bath and have your dinner.
After dinner,
You will call for awhile.

Telling me you going to play with him again.
Ok! Just go on.
Call me around 1am,
which is when you want to sleep.
Talk for awhile.
Telling me lets sms.
This is the only time where im REALLY sms ing with you.

Do you get what Im trying to say?
This is the time where you are only SMS ing with me without doing other things.
The way you sms at night is so different.
I know you never realize it,
Because im the one who reading it,
Not you.!

Those sms-es that you sent to me at night are longer,
Not to say its more meaningful but at least when i tell you something you will reply slightly longer?

You always ask me what m i doing..?
But i rarely ask you what are you doing,
Because i know what you are doing during different time.

Things changed, if you realize.
We rarely skype anymore.
I wonder , if that day i did not say i want to skype,
I bet we will never skype until now.

Afraid to tell you things in the afternoon.
Do you know why?
Im afraid the next message you reply is telling me you wanna play game,
Or you wanna take a nap.
How do you want me to response beside telling you okokay?

Im wondering,
Could you write down things i do like what i wrote up there?
I bet you can't.
Should i ask you about it?
Or should i just Shut up and just Shut up?

I don't know why i write this for,
Im not blaming anyone,
And maybe im thinking too much,
Wanting too much from what I already have,
But,
Expressing my feeling over here is better than i just keep it to myself.

If you bother to read,
You will know what happened.